Saturday, October 6, 2012

Who gets it?

(This needs to be prefaced by the assertion that I am not, myself, currently being presented with the following situation. So far as I know, anyway, and you know what they say: ignorance is bliss. Knock on wood, all that crap.)

What’s the proper etiquette to deal with a “cheatin’ woman?”

Some background here: Brandon has several radio stations, but only two if you don’t like country music (I don’t). One plays more current pop, the other older stuff. For every chunk of music you hear, it’s sandwiched by really annoying advertisements (radio ads are so, so painful). So when an ad hits one station you jump to the other and hope to get lucky and get music. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

What’s important about this little game is that it resulted, the other day, in my experiencing, almost back-to-back, the songs “Hey Joe” by Jimi Hendrix and “Wake Up Call” by Maroon 5. In the former, our protagonist (Joe) is heading out with a gun to put a pill into his unfaithful woman. The latter tune by Maroon 5 describes a gentleman who, when presented with a similar lack of fidelity, expresses his disappointment by putting the competing suitor in a grave. So, who has the right of it?

Some of you may be suggesting, with some validity, that either reaction is a little excessive. Most people would jump for “secret option C:” breaking up. For argument’s sake, however, we’re only going to deal with options A and B rather than muddying the waters by throwing rationality into the mix. So... option A, you eliminate the cheater. Or, option B, you eliminate the interloper. If the concept of murder disturbs you, think of it this way: which makes for a better story idea? The vengeful lover hunts down... who?

Technically, the trespassing individual (ie, the dude your lady is banging) hasn’t done anything wrong. He didn’t, after all, promise to be faithful to you or anything like that. He’s just a guy who liked the look of your woman and did what anyone does when they are presented with something they want: they try and get it. At worst, he’s broken social convention, but certainly a much less egregious sin than cheating.

By this logic it’s the woman that gets it. However, that leaves you with nothing (well, a hefty prison sentence and nothing). In theory, you still find your woman desirable. So if you kill her, you can’t have her. Which means you’re back to option B: eliminate the interloper. By getting rid of all the competition, you win (sort of a “reactive default” victory).

It’s a tough call. What would the fictional murderous version of you do?

1 comment:

  1. Obviously murdering anyone is not a realistic choice but as a fictional choice - I say murder the guy and not my partner. Nothing to be gained by murdering your partner and I think it would be hard to kill someone you liked/loved.