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Sunday, September 4, 2011

Beware office snacks


A tasty treat shared around during an office break ended up containing marijuana. A lady brought in brownies that she found in her freezer. These brownies had (apparently) been made by her son, put in the freezer, and promptly forgotten. The mom had no idea there was cannabis in the brownies. Three people from the office ended up being taken to hospital with disorientation, numbness in their limbs, and light-headedness. One can only presume these three people had never sampled pot before. It makes me wonder how many other people were “suffering” from those same symptoms and just rode along with them happily in order to make a dull day at the office go by in a flash.
Of course this happened in BC, so they at least managed to keep with stereotype. The lady who brought the “magic brownies” to work claimed to know nothing about the marijuana in them. Maybe she didn’t, but if not, she’s more than a little clueless. Any mothers reading this, I have to ask: If you find brownies in your freezer that you did not make and you also have a teenage son living at home, aren’t the brownies immediately suspect? Who made them? How’d they get there? What teenaged guy just spends a day whipping up a batch of chocolatey treats for fun? Thinking the brownies are normal is just as foolish as telling yourself those ounce-sized glasses filled with Jello in the fridge are nothing more than gelatin, sugar, and water. And your son doesn’t have condoms in his room, either; those are just high-grade balloons that he needs because he’s practicing making balloon-animals. He’s out at the library until 2 am, just like he claims, and those glossy magazines under his mattress belong to a friend—he’s just holding onto them as a favour. He’d never look at stuff like that because it degrades women.
Wake up, lady. I envy her son, though. Until now, he’s probably lived a pretty sweet life. I'm guessing Mom just might start taking a bit more of an interest in his daily routines now. Too bad, kid.
(This story could easily be an episode of The Office. I’d watch that.)

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