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Sunday, July 3, 2011

Royal visit

With William and Kate strolling around Canada, of course it is a natural time for Canucks to bitch and moan about “parasites” and “unnecessary royal baggage.” Royals are all a bunch of amoral degenerates. The monarchy is completely useless in the modern era. It is an institution with no relevance anymore. Worse, it wastes public money. No one voted for the Queen or any of her brood; it’s undemocratic and perhaps even a shade tyrannical, to still have them around or be imbued with even the slightest influence on public policy.
What a load of shite (to borrow a British expression).
First, let’s talk about voting. No one voted for the Queen, that’s true. No one EVER votes for a Queen. (Except in Phantom Menace: Queen Amidala was elected. Does Lucas even know what a Queen is?) So what. Are we really that thrilled with our elected leaders? When was the last time you saw a name on a ballot that truly filled you with respect and admiration? Aren’t most elections a matter of holding your nose, closing your eyes, and marking the least objectionable scuzz-bucket with an X? I propose that raising a child from birth to the idea that it is their job to govern is more likely to produce a leader worth following as it is to have a bunch of middle-aged white lawyers clawing at each other to hold the top spot. Think about it for a minute. If you use a “rule by birth” system, you get rid of lobbyists and special interest groups. No more annoying election ads (tell me THAT doesn’t convince you, if nothing else does). But maybe it scares you to have someone hold that kind of power over you when you don’t have a say in when they lose their job.
Hopefully you’re never in a court, then, standing before a judge. They don’t get elected, the last time I checked, and they sure hold a lot of power over your future. All it takes is one accusation and a pissed off judge, and you could be in for a lovely time in the Big House. The same goes for cops, teachers, bureaucrats, tax auditors, and a bunch of other people that can have a significant impact on our lives. So the idea that only democratically elected individuals should have power over us isn’t even a real concept in our society.
As for the royals being “degenerates” or otherwise immoral, I refer again to my above comment about the quality of our current crop of political leaders. Graft, bribery, infidelity, broken promises, lies, racial slurs, misogyny, abuse of power, slush funds... the list goes on and on. Whether personal or professional, there really is no area of life that our public leaders haven’t, on occasion, screwed up - forgive the pun - royally.
It may be true that the monarchy is a waste of public money. So are a lot of things. Are we going to get rid of them all? How do museums help us in our day-to-day struggles? Monuments are pretty useless, too, but we aren’t going to topple every statue and arch, are we? In terms of relevance, the monarchy is a living link to our own history and heritage, much more vibrant, dynamic and modern than any painting, document, or plaque could possibly be. If we want to truly understand who we are, it is important to know where we’ve been, and it would be foolish to toss aside an ancient institution for no gain and much potential loss.
Does everyone remember Scott Thompson of Kids in the Hall pretending to the Queen addressing Canada? “Without me and the French, you’re just... Americans,” she (he) says. Do we really want to take a chance that he (she) was right?

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