Thursday, February 10, 2011

Why do rotten apples even need money?

Once again the bad apple threatens to rot the entire barrel. Canadian Revenue Agency offers a tax credit for the disabled. Unfortunately, the greedy have come out of the woodwork, as they always do, and have quickly taken advantage of a noble effort.
Entire companies whose sole purpose is to help you get this tax credit have sprung up. They get 30% of your rebate. Can you imagine they have any motive but the absolute purest? I’m sure they are diligent in their definitions of what constitutes a disability. My favourite case is the firefighter who is on active duty and has passed all the rigorous tests required for that position. He’s qualified for the disability credit thanks to one of these companies. What’s his disability? Excessive bravery? Civic virtue? He bench presses too much?
The people who have already received money are complaining that the government is trying to snatch it back. The gall of Big Daddy Gubmint! This is precisely the same as a bewildered thief, being dragged away in handcuffs, crying, “You mean you’re taking the jewelry back? That is total BS, man!”
Former employees of these “help-you-be-disabled” companies have come forward to say they were directed to ask leading questions (what a shock). “Are your headaches severe enough to be considered migraines?” “Are you sure you only get them a couple times a month?” “That must cause you a great deal of distress and depression.” I think their training manuals don’t go quite so far as to say, “Now add a wink, wink,” but it’s pretty close.
Obviously I don’t mean to make light of the thousands who have valid claims. Not at all. Instead what I propose is that we make the dreams of the loophole-lookers and abusers true. They want the disability tax credit? Fine, here it is, no strings attached.

Well, maybe one string.
You want the money that the disabled get? No problem. Let the CRA go door-to-door dispensing cheques... and disabilities. There are plenty that can be doled out. I can think of plenty of positives to this. We’d be creating jobs for a whole new type of accountant, a real “heavy-hitter” sort, previously employed only by lone sharks and the Mob. It would be a great stress reliever for overworked civil servants. Wheelchair sales would go through the roof.
You know what they say: If you can’t beat ‘em... beat ‘em up.

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