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Sunday, February 27, 2011

Gaddafi: jilted lover?

The news is so Libya-focused it’s really been hard to write about something else. The thing is, I don’t just want to hear about Libya. Bahrain is a powderkeg waiting to blow up right on the edges of Saudi Arabia.  Tunisia’s PM resigns. Yemen is still going strong, just picking up steam. Dominoes are toppling, and no one has any idea what shape the final pile is going to look like.
But Libya is king of the media right now, so I’m jumping aboard.
Gaddafi is now blaming outside forces for  the uprising in Libya. He may be right. Al-Qaeda might have hordes of operatives over there, busy dripping poison in the ears of innocent Libyans. Or maybe aliens are doing it. Or the CIA. Or the Girl Guides.
These people are braving death to overthrow him. I’ll say it again: death. You do not get pushed to that level of dissatisfaction because someone shows up on poker night to complain about taxes. It takes more than a few dudes handing out leaflets on street corners to get an entire country to rise up and march into the teeth of machine guns. Could this revolution somehow be Gaddafi’s fault? Is it possible? To quote the immortal Michael Jackson, perhaps Gaddafi should say “I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways.”
He’s like an abusive husband that suspects his wife’s girlfriends are behind her sudden desire to leave him. If only he could keep his spouse locked in a box, cut off from the world’s corrupting influences... then things would be great. Libya could keep right on cooking his meals and smiling while he bats her around. Gaddafi-as-abuser just can’t see that maybe he’s partly to blame. You know, just a little, maybe 10%. Even if he was able to see that, he sure doesn’t have the stones to fess up to it. Instead he’ll just keep sitting around the Dictators’ Lounge, throwing back beers and complaining to his tyrant friends about how “Libya is such an ungrateful bitch.” He’s given her more than 40 years of his life! What’s he supposed to do now? Find another country to abuse? He may find that a tougher market than when he first entered the dating scene.
I guarantee Match.com does not have a checkbox for “seeking nation-state that won’t mind my boot on its neck.”

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